we are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves.

RULE BOOK

disclaimer: this is a private, highly selective roleplay blog for boris pavlikovsky of 'the goldfinch' by donna tartt. i hold no affiliation with her whatsoever.

1) my portrayal is canon divergent and headcanon based with focus on the information presented in the novel. i do take some inspiration from the film but very minimal. my headcanons and personal development of boris are of my own, please do not steal any of it for your own usage. i will absolutely call you on it as i've spent time developing boris. the same goes for any graphics and aesthetics i've used or created.

2) i am not duplicate friendly. i'd prefer it if you didn't follow me if you write boris or intend to. this is my own comfort as this is my blog and dash space and i try my best to manage my own discomfort and anxiety. i have had headcanons on other blogs taken and i intend on keeping my blogs a safe environment for myself. it's nothing personal.

3) i am highly selective and mutually exclusive. this means that i will only write and interact with my mutuals. please do not unfollow and refollow me repeatedly in attempts to get my attention. i do try to check new followers as they come and i follow those back that i think boris would interact with.

4) there won't be any sexual content on this blog that is written, as i am mainly writing and developing boris through his youth. in canon he does father a child at the age of 16 but this isn't something that's written out as that's inappropriate and nasty. there will be other nsfw themes or uncomfortable themes on here by the way of: substance use, substance abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse, suicidal ideation. i do tag these things as they come up with 'alcohol tw' and 'alcohol /'. please let me know if there is anything else that you need tagged. i ask that you tag anything that pertains to transphobia, death of trans individuals, rape / sexual assault.

5) drama & vagues. tag your posts. if there's an issue with me, i'd prefer that you communicate with me one on one to try and sort it out. i reblog call out posts when i see fit to do so.

6) shipping isn't the biggest priority for me. boris is highly flirtatious. i won't be doing anything of the sorts unless it's been plotted out.

7) this isn't my only blog so my activity is usually sporadic as i jump where i have the most muse. my other frequented blogs are @onlyvirgins, @shapetorn, @deathswakes (multi muse sideblog), @birdsbaths.

please don't push or pressure me for replies, it doesn't make me move any faster. i also have the right to unfollow and block people when i see fit, please don't hound me asking why i did that. i don't need to give you a reason.

my name is lux. i'm 25. please only refer to me with they/them pronouns. i work in community services so my time is sometimes limited. discord is open to mutuals only.

"his bad tempers and black moods, which were frequent, alternated with unsound bursts of hilarity ; he was wild and gloomy."

GIVEN NAME: BORYS VOLODYMYROVYCH PAVLIKOVSKY
GOES BY: BORIS PAVLIKOVSKY
AGE: FIFTEEN
BIRTHDAY: AUGUST 15TH
BIRTH PLACE: BORN IN AUSTRALIA BUT HOLDS DUEL CITIZENSHIP WITHIN THE UKRAINE AND POLAND.
ZODIAC: leo sun, gemini rising, leo moon (will expand below)
RESIDENCY: BORIS HOLDS NO FIXED ADDRESS. HE HAS LIVED WITHIN THE FOLLOWING COUNTRIES: RUSSIA, SCOTLAND, AUSTRALIA, POLAND, NEW ZEALAND, NEW GUINEA, CANADA, SAUDI ARABIA, SWEDEN, UKRAINE, INDONESIA, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (TEXAS, ALASKA, NEVADA)
SPOKEN LANGUAGES: DESPITE KNOWING MANY LANGUAGES, HE IS NOT FULLY FLUENT IN ANY. HE CARRIES A POCKET ENGLISH DICTIONARY EVERYWHERE HE GOES. BORIS CAN SPEAK THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES: ENGLISH, RUSSIAN, POLISH, CZECH, UKRANIAN, ARABIC AND SOME MINOR FRENCH. HE PRIORITIZES SPEAKING ENGLISH BUT FREQUENTLY LEANS ONTO RUSSIAN AND UKRANIAN IN TERMS OF SWEARING / CURSING OR WHEN HE IS DRUNK.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: BISEXUAL WITH SEVERE COMPHET ISSUES.
addiction & illnesses: to be their own section.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: PALE AND PASTY, GNAWED DOWN FINGERNAILS, BLACK HAIR THAT IS FREQUENTLY UNGROOMED AND TANGLED, DEEP / DARK BAGS UNDER HIS EYES, LANKY AND SKINNY, STANDING AT APPROX. 5'10.
FAMILY: boris mentions that his mother died when he was younger, witnessing her drunk and falling to her death from a window. he is an only child. his father works in mines while also holding a criminal background. boris mentions that his father has killed a man before and due to his work in mining, this causes them to frequently move around. boris suffered tremendous physical and psychological abuse at the hands of his father. within my portrayal on this blog, boris' father is deceased and he is an orphan.

` ZODIAC.

LEO SUN: the sun determines your ego, identity, and "role" in life. sun in leo means that you are fundamentally bold and proud. you love attention and to be cared for. you pay it back in kind with your charm and your ability to make people feel better when they are blue. you know what your skills are and how to use them. leo's are often vivacious, theatrical and passionate. they often lean into drama-fueled relationships. leo's may also find themselves impaired by their ego, pride and jealousy.

Gemini rising: your ascendant sign is the "mask" you present to people. it can often be seen in your personal style and how you come off to those you first meet. this sign in gemini means that you come across as quick-witted, chatty, eclectic, and fun, though somewhat inconsistent. in conversation you seem probing and curious.

leo moon: the moon rules your emotions, moods, and feelings. this is likely the sign you most think of yourself as, since it reflects your personality when you are alone or deeply comfortable. your moon is in leo, meaning your emotional self is dramatic, proud, expressive, idealistic and somewhat self centered. you need a lot of love, care and validation from others.

WELLBEING & HEALTH

substance abuse disorder: affects the person's brain development, behaviour and can lead to an inability to control the use of legal or illegal drugs. this accompanies a heavy dependency on substances to function normally, going out of your way financially to ensure you have a supply, stealing. this can impact memory, speech patterns, behaviours, etc. boris had an introduction to substances from a very early age from his surroundings and his parents. boris frequently partakes in use of the following substances: alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, cocaine, vicodin and other prescription drugs.

borderline personality disorder: a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think about yourself and other people around you. this can cause problems functioning in everyday life. can include self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behaviours and feature a pattern of unstable relationships. there tends to be a fear of abandonment and instability with difficulties being alone on some occasion or often isolating yourself altogether. inappropriate anger outbursts, impulsiveness and mood swings have a tendency to push or drive others away. impulsive and risky behaviours can include gambling, unsafe sex, spending sprees, substuce abuse, ending relationships with people. suicidal threats or behaviours are themes. inappropriate and intense anger with losing temper, being sarcastic and bitter or having physical altercations. this disorder can be a result of environmental factors - a history of child abuse and neglect and may also be genetic. many people with this disorder report being physically abused and neglected in childhood, experiencing loss of parents or having parents who had substance abuse issues. boris grew up in a household that was abusive and chaotic, he experienced physical abuse at the hands of his father and had an introduction to drugs and alcohol at a young age. he also experiences unstable emotional patterns and a lack of impulse control. complications with this disorder can lead to legal troubles, not completing an education, relationship conflict, self harming behaviours, etc. these are themes boris carries as well.

VITAMIN & MINERAL DEFICIENCY : DUE TO HIS HOME ENVIRONMENT, BORIS WAS FREQUENTLY LEFT ON HIS OWN WITH LITTLE TO NO FOOD. HE'S MENTIONED THAT OFTEN ALL THAT HE HAS AT THE HOUSE IS BREAD AND SUGAR. BORIS OFTEN SHOPLIFTS HIS OWN FOOD IN ORDER TO FEED HIMSELF. BECAUSE OF THIS, HE IS PALE IN COMPARISON TO MANY OTHERS OFTEN FAINT UPON BLOOD LOSS.

background & information

BOOK ANALYSIS: "HE OPENED THE DOOR INTO A SORT OF RAGTAG TENTED SPACE, REEKING OF STALE MALBOROS, BOOKS PILED EVERYWHERE, OLD BEER BOTTLES AND ASHTRAYS AND HEAPS OF OLD TOWELS AND UNWASHED CLOTHES SPILLING OVER ONTO THE CARPET. THE WALLS BILLOWED WITH PRINTED FABRIC - YELLOW, GREEN, INDIGO, PURPLE - AND A RED HAMMER - AND - SICKLE FLAG HUNG OVER THE BATIK - DRAPED MATTRESS." - THE GOLDFINCH, PAGE 242. BORIS DOES NOT MAINTAIN A CLEAN SPACE OF ENVIRONMENT. HE DID NOT HAVE A LOT OF BELONGINGS GROWING UP AND FREQUENTLY CARRIES ALL THAT HE HAS WITHIN A BACKPACK AND GARBAGE BAGS. THEREFORE, HE NEVER FULLY SETTLES INTO AN ENVIRONMENT AND OFTEN LEAES IT MESSY OR BARELY UNPACKS. WITHIN THE MOVIE, BORIS' ROOM ALSO FEATURES A GAMING SYSTEM AND DVD'S.

"but he was used to being on his own. cheerfully he got himself up for school, hitched his own rides, signed his own report cards, shoplifted his own food and school supplies." - the goldfinch, page 248. due to absentee parents (or in my portrayal, deceased parents), boris often was left to his own devices, doing whatever necessary to get by. there is another example of this within the novel which i am noting below.

"with boris, the future had never appeared to enter his head any further than his next meal. i could not envision him preparing in any way to earn a living or to be a productive member of society. and yet to be with boris was to know that life was full of great, ridiculous possibilities." - The goldfinch, page 414. to rope this in with my headcanon of antisocial personality disorder, the mentions of not being abale to see boris preparing for an actual productive role in society is a factor in this with those with aspd. however, a lot of boris' actions in terms of stealing are also brought in with an act of self preservation. he has had to learn to adapt to constant changing environments and do exactly what he deems necessary in order to survive and meet his basic needs.

despite all of this, when boris came into money, he was likely to split it down the middle and share it with friends. he gladly and openly shared his money, food and belongings even if you did not ask for them.

OTHER NOTES: boris often carries a serious streak, he will listen to what you have to say and often times take that secret to the grave. other times, he does not have a filter and may slip up. it's very hit or miss. when he is intoxicated, he is a fan of heavy and deep conversation. covering anything from political and current events, his opinions, travel stories, etc. he is loud and outspoken and often speaks without filtering his thoughts. while he is quick to give to others, it's very often in the way of material items rather than emotional support. he is selfish and prioritizes himself above everything and everyone. this stems from his upbringing and survival instincts. the idea that you can only count on yourself.